[INTERNAL MEMO]
Hey Team,
Early on at Gym Launch, we brought on a new Operations Manager. She was not blowing things up like I had hoped (and prayed for lol) she was just… okay. Consistently okay. And I knew it but hoped it would turn around sooner than later.
But worse than that .... other people on the team knew it too. They were coming to me with feedback about this person's questionable performance. People were flagging things constantly, nothing catastrophic but all areas of deficiency. And what did I do?
Nothing.
I didn't share the feedback back with the ops leader. I didn't tell the people giving me the feedback to go say it directly. I just… absorbed it. I nodded and said "yeah I'll keep an eye on it," and then sat on it. Weeks turned into months. And then I would tell myself “Well now its too late”
Bullshit!!!
By the time I finally had the conversation, it was too late for it to have an impact the way it should have. It didn't feel like coaching, it felt like a blindsided punch in the face. She was clearly upset and not because the feedback was wrong, but because I had watched her struggle, had heard from others that she was struggling, and said nothing.
She literally said to me, "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
I felt like complete shit. Because the honest answer? I was protecting myself from discomfort, not protecting her. And I had also failed the people on the team who came to me … I taught them that flagging problems leads nowhere, so why bother??
That's when I realized: The kindest thing a leader can do is tell the truth fast. Silence is not kindness, it's cowardice.
And that's what Sincere Candor actually means here. It's not a suggestion. It's a standard for everyone who has the privilege to lead here. If you suck at it - get better, fast, or your teams will pay for it.
We tell the truth quickly and kindly..and we tell it with the intent to make things better, not to make ourselves feel superior, not to vent, and not to make the other person feel like shit. But because the people on our teams deserve to know where they stand so they can actually do something about it!
Here's what I've seen happen when we don't:
- Someone is 60% of the way to what we need, and instead of coaching them up, we route around them. We just stop giving them the important stuff. They have no idea why they're being sidelined, and we tell ourselves "they should know." - no .. YOU should know.
- People bring feedback to their manager instead of saying it directly to the person. The manager absorbs it and does nothing. Now three people are failing .. the person who needs the feedback, the person who didn't give it, and the manager who buried it in their comfort bubble lol.
- A leader sees something off in their team's work and says nothing because "it's not worth the fight." Three months later, it's a much bigger fight and you can’t avoid this one
Every single one of these is a failure of candor at a leadership level And every single one of them costs us speed, trust, and talent.
So I want to be direct with you all: If you don't give your people feedback, who will?
I'm not going to do it. Neither is anyone else on the exec team. That's not because we don't care, it's because it's not our job. It's yours. You are the person closest to your team's work, their growth, and their potential. That makes you the right person to have the conversation whether you like it or not.
And here's what I want you to hear, because I know some of you are thinking it: If you're nervous to give the feedback, or if you feel like you're not good at giving feedback - you are exactly the right person to give it. The discomfort you feel? That's not a sign you should hand it off, that's a sign you have a deficit you need to work on. Discomfort is your fastest path to growth.
I get asked sometimes, "Leila, can you talk to so-and-so for me?" And my answer is always NO. Not because I can’t, but because I don't need the lesson. I've already learned it. I already have the skill. It's not hard for me anymore! But if it's hard for you, then me stepping in doesn't help you, it steals your learning by stealing the struggle from you. And I care about you too much to do that.
Now, if you're hesitant and you don't know how to approach it, ask for advice. Come to me, come to your peers, come to anyone you trust and say "here's the conversation I need to have, how would you approach it?" That's smart. That's using your resources. But asking for advice is very different from asking someone to step in. Get the coaching, then go have the conversation yourself. That's how you build the skill.
Which, this is a SKILL not a personality trait. (I know some of you hold on to that piece)
Also I want to say one more thing, because I think we take this for granted:
At a lot of companies, people genuinely don't want feedback. They showed up for a paycheck or a title or a line on their resume. That's not who we have here. We are blessed to have people who joined because they want to grow. They want to get better. They want to be pushed. That means our people are already primed for feedback in a way that most teams out there are not and never will be.
So if you can't give feedback here - in this environment, with people who actually want it - where the fuck can you? Seriously. This is the most receptive audience you will ever have. That may sound harsh but it’s the TRUTH.
Here's my challenge to you this week:
1. Think about the conversation you've been putting off.
You already know which one it is. The one that makes your stomach tighten a little when you think about it or it’s what you think about when you wake up at 3am. That's the one your team needs most and your FUTURE self. Have it this week. Not next week. THIS WEEK.
2. If someone brings you feedback about another person - don't absorb it.
Either coach them to deliver it directly, or tell them you're going to share it. Feedback that sits in your head helps no one. The moment you become a bottleneck for the truth, you've broken the system.
3. Ask yourself the question that changed everything for me:
"If this person left tomorrow and said 'nobody ever told me,' would that be TRUE?”
If the answer is yes, you're not being kind. You're being comfortable. And comfortable doesn't build great teams or cultures.
Sincere Candor is not a license to be harsh. It's a responsibility to be honest. The "sincere" part matters just as much as the "candor" part - it means the intent behind the truth is to genuinely help, not to prove a point about ourselves, but to make others better.
Our people deserve leaders who respect them enough to be real with them. Let's be those leaders. Would love to hear from anyone who takes on that conversation this week .. what happened, what you learned. :)

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