[INTERNAL MEMO]
Why I Failed My Employee
Last week we kicked off our values walkthrough with Unimpeachable Character.
This week we're moving to the second of our three core values: Sincere Candor.
Nothing great can be built without feedback, internally or externally.
Why this one, second? This value is actually a derivative of one we had at our first company Gym launch “Don't sugarcoat it" just said differently (more elegantly lol)
When I thought about why it had to make the cut at Acquisition.com, too, the reason came down to one word: speed.
There is no version of building what we want to build without moving fast. And there is no version of moving fast without HONESTY. If you're constantly buffering yourself, beating around the bush, or walking on eggshells to get things done, you are going to take 10x longer to move anything forward in this business. Every conversation you avoid, every piece of feedback you sit on, every "I'll bring it up next week" is a tax on speed and one that most companies cannot afford.
At the same time, I don't know about you, but I don't enjoy communicating with people who are complete assholes and think candor gives them the right to be rude. That is the opposite of what this value means. Sincere Candor requires two things at once: the self-awareness to identify where YOU can improve, and the kindness and candor to tell others in a way that actually makes them better, not feel bad.
A good filter for communicating, “Does communicating feedback in this way make this person better? Or just make them feel bad and make ME feel better?” 🔪
I learned this the hard way at Gym Launch. We had an Operations Manager who on paper was doing fine. Not amazing but also not terrible - just… okay. Team members kept coming to me individually with feedback about her, what she could be doing better, where she was missing the mark. And every time, I absorbed it and kept it to myself rather than sharing.
I told myself I'd "find the right time." She was "still ramping." I told myself the feedback was harsh and I needed to soften it before delivering it or just give her more time to get reps in.
It’s insane and embarrassing to say now but MONTHS went by like this.
When I finally had the conversation, it didn't come across like coaching, it came across like a blindsided punch in the face lol.
She looked at me and said the words I'll never forget: "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
She was right. I FAILED HER I wasn't being kind by holding back, I was protecting myself from discomfort and calling it kindness.
The kindest thing a teammate can do is tell the truth fast. Silence is not kindness, it's cowardice.
What we actually want: Honesty that drives change. Clarity rather than comfort. Results over egos OR insecurities.
We tell the truth, we tell it fast, and we tell it with the intent to make things BETTER.
What we don’t want: Being an asshole. Tearing people down. Passive-aggressive comments. Vague feedback. Waiting until it's too late. "Telling it like it is" is not a personality trait, it's lazy communication without care and intent behind it.
What it looks like day-to-day:
Someone is underperforming → you tell them directly, in real time, not three months later in a review, that’s a giant failure, idc what the excuse.
A teammate vents to you about another teammate → you ask "have you told them?" instead of becoming the middleman and engaging with the drama.
You disagree with a decision in the meeting → you say it in the meeting, not in the DM after
Someone gives you feedback → you say "thank you" and sit with it instead of getting defensive
You're holding feedback because it feels "uncomfortable" → you remember comfort is not the goal, GROWTH is
A teammate is doing something great → you tell them, fast and specifically, in real time :)
Every hard conversation you avoid today is a tax you're paying tomorrow. On your relationships, on the business, and on the person who deserved to hear it directly from you. And if we want to keep building this thing at the speed we are, every single one of us has to be committed to telling the truth, fast, with care.
To borrow from Ray Dalio: "There is nothing to fear from knowing the truth."
These values are not for everybody. And we are not for everybody. Like I said last week - and that's okay. But if you've chosen to join this team, know you will be held to them.
Let’s crush the week 🚀
– Leila
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