[INTERNAL MEMO]
Quiet is Not Neutral
Back in 2014 one Friday, my manager Mike stood up in front of the whole sales team and said “Leila stayed 2 hours after her sessions ended walking the floor and got 2 more sales. That’s how you become a top producer.”
I was 22. Though I had graduated college excited to take on personal training and change people’s lives most of my day was people telling me "no." Because I had to sell people in order to get clients. I still remember exactly where I was standing when he said that and what the room looked like, not because it was a big deal but because nobody had ever recognized me like that in front of a group of people, I was insanely embarrassed and flattered at the same time.
Eight months before that, at my first sales job, I worked for a manager named Dave. Dave only talked to you when you missed your numbers.
Hit it –> silence.
Miss it –> a lecture.
I was one of the top producing trainers but got so scared of getting yelled at that I stopped trying anything new to close deals, I didn’t feel like dealing with Dave’s BS.
The funny thing is that nothing changed about ME between those two jobs. The only thing that changed was having a boss who told me what I did RIGHT.
This taught me a few things…
Staying quiet is not neutral. It tells people "this didn't matter."
If you only speak up when something goes wrong, silence starts to mean "not good enough."
People stop doing the good thing too, because they never knew it was good and what you want to understand is that most people assume the worst.
Silence = assumptions = worst case scenario
I've watched this happen with strong performers multiple times. Their managers are so busy coaching the poor performers they forget to recognize their top performers, who suddenly also become poor performers.
For years I made Dave's mistake without realizing it. I figured if someone did something right, they already knew it. How could they not? The outcome was there.
Well, they didn’t.
They could only see their own actions and the fact they got no feedback after.
Here's the shift that changed how I lead: telling someone what they did right is not a nice gesture. It's information they cannot get any other way.
A result alone won't teach it to them. A deal can close for the wrong reason and fall apart for a reason that wasn't their fault. The action is the only thing you can actually build on, and you're the only one who can name it for them.
Three things I do now on purpose:
1. Call out the input, not just the outcome. "Nice job closing that deal" teaches NOTHING. “Good job staying quiet after you presented the offer” tells them exactly what to repeat.
What gets recognized, gets repeated.
2. Say it in front of others. Private praise helps one person. Public praise shows the whole team see what "good" looks like, without you explaining it one by one.
What gets recognized in public, gets repeated by many.
3. Say it fast, not months later. Praise from three months ago doesn't change behavior. Give it ASAP so the person can connect the dots.
If you never say it, it never happened. Say it, and you'll get more of it.
— Leila
P.S. If you have early-career questions like I did at 22 years old and want to chat about choosing a path, I want to hear about it. Send me your questions for my new call-in show, Dear Leila on YouTube. Ask me here.

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