QQ for you all: why do most people actually leave their jobs?

Gallup asked over a MILLION workers this exact question. The number one reason wasn't pay, or hours, or growth opportunity. It was their DIRECT BOSS.

People don't leave companies, they leave bosses. Meaning this group is absolutely the most responsible for the turnover in our business.

And that’s a good thing :)

If you've ever worked for someone you didn't respect, you probably didn't love that job, no matter how good the role looked on paper. And if you've ever worked for someone who genuinely believed in you, chances are you loved the work, even when it was hard or not sexy whatsoever.

THE BOSS makes the difference. So this isn't about becoming a more effective boss.

It's about firing the BOSS in you and becoming a LEADER instead.

So where do BOSSES come from?

"A boss runs the team like a warden: contain people, watch for mistakes, keep the walls up. A leader runs it like a gardener: set the conditions, and trust what's planted to grow on its own."

Power exposes insecurity.

Here's what tends to happen the moment any of us gets promoted or handed more authority. The first thing that rises to the surface usually isn't confidence, it's actually insecurity.

Am I good enough for this?

Will they see through me?

Can I actually get results here?

What if I fail?

And when we're in charge and feeling insecure, we almost always overcompensate with unhealthy behavior. We control, we micromanage, we get overly critical, defensive, we stop listening, we start blaming, or we deflect with sarcasm.

You've watched this happen to a good person the moment they got promoted. WE ALL HAVE. It's not because they became a bad person, it's because the insecurity started to outweigh their other skills.

I want to share FIVE things that make the difference as to whether you're a boss or a leader. I think it would be helpful to go through these and determine where you fall in each one.

Fear pushes people into survival mode and they stop taking risks and just try to stay out of the way and avoid punishment. It creates a cycle: fear leads to inaction, inaction erodes confidence, and low confidence creates more fear. A leader breaks that cycle by building confidence in the person, in what the team stands for, and in where it's headed.

Whenever we're consistently pointing fingers, it's usually because we're avoiding something about our own leadership. We don't say "our people won't" we say "we haven't led our people to." If it has to do with your team, it has to do with YOU.

The common line is "trust is earned." A leader flips that: we hired the right people, so trust is extended from DAY ONE!!!! MISTRUST is what has to be earned. Extend trust first, and trust tends to follow naturally. Demand trust first, and it rarely comes back. You are the leader because you are always a couple steps ahead, in this way as well.

Controlling limits growth, you can have control or you can have growth, but not both at the same time. The shift is from handing out tasks ("go do this") to handing out responsibility ("this is yours"). One trains people to follow instructions. The other trains people to lead. The measurement of a true leader is how many other leaders you can create on your team.

Guardedness comes from fear, avoiding vulnerability, controlling information, keeping distance. A secure leader can admit mistakes, doesn't need to know everything, and lets people see the real version. People admire your strengths, but they connect with your weaknesses. They'd rather follow a leader who's real than one who's always right.

The Reframe

Leadership was never about title or position, it's always been about trust and influence. Position gives you the power to control. Trust gives you the permission to lead. Anyone can intimidate; a leader INSPIRES. Anyone can control; a leader empowers. Anyone can make people feel small next to them; a leader helps people see how important they actually are.

Sit with this honestly and if you're not sure, ask the people around you, because they already know LOL!!!

— Leila

Ps. Want to receive these memos in your inbox (completely free)?